Lebron is the King of Crap City!

Yeah, that's right...that's Stuff crrrrapping on your head Lebron. So how do the fair cities of Cleveland and Orlando match up? Let's take a look:

First lets take a look at the actual city...each has a beautiful lake.

Cleveland:

Behold the wondrous beauty of Lake Erie! Honestly, the smell coming off this place makes my bathroom here at work seem like a field of fresh lillies.


Orlando:

Now THIS is a lake...just look at the beauty of the City Beautiful! See that bird? It decided to live here because it knows how pretty it would look in the foreground of Lake Eola pictures.

(not pictured: jogger raping bums)


Now on to landmarks!

Cleveland:

Yay...The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Yep, it's kind of cool. Its home to tons of cool rock music memorabilia. But your city can't be to great when the first thing people say about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is, "Why is it in Cleveland?"

Test: Go mention the RNR Hall to anyone...if they don't ask that previous question, I'll stop having sex with your mom. Well, maybe just for the week.


Orlando:

While I usually like to separate Orlando as a city from Disney World...for the sake of showing how much Cleveland sucks sweaty giraffe balls...there is no comparison. Point, Orlando.


How about other sports?

Cleveland:

There is a reason they are named the Browns. Because they are Shit. A few of the players mothers took offense when the NFL was invented and they wanted to call them the Cleveland Shits. I don't blame them. I love mothers. Cleveland also has the distinction of being the only NFL club to never host a Super Bowl, or even be in one. Cleveland Underwear Stains.


Orlando:

Umm...


So, moving on to our next category! TV shows based in each city:

Cleveland:

Yes, the once funny Drew Carrey Show was based in Crap City, Ohio. I will find fault in the show for giving us Mimi Bobek. Not because I find her ugly. Because one time while getting a chubby for Christa Miller's Kate O'brien, Mimi busted into the room. My boner is still pissed off.

Orlando:

One of the most underrated shows ever. I loved this show growing up. I was never more excited than when I heard that for the 1995 season, Coach would be moving to Orlando, FL to start up the new NFL team...The Orlando Breakers! I'm not saying that the Orlando season killed the show, but the Orlando season killed the show. Damn, I'm gonna have to pull the "Hey, Dude" card...


Let's take a look at namesakes:

Cleveland:

Family Guy's Cleveland Brown. Meh...


Orlando:

Before you call me gay (which you probably already have about 37 times while reading this), look at your last paycheck. Now multiply that by 7 million. Now add a hot model girlfriend. Now go ask your wife if she'd rather have sex with this stud than your pasty, fat ass. That's the power of Orlando Bloom.

...And finally, what famous people hail from each city?

Cleveland:

Beloved actor Hal Holbrook. Great actor. Looks like Yoda. Good job Cleveland, producing ugly people for years!


Orlando:

Supermodel Giselle! What? She's not from Orlando? Well guess what?! I know for a fact that she's been to Orlando before! There's no way she'd spend 5 minutes in that shit hole of a city in Ohio! Cleveland, you are America's Armpit!!!!