End Of The Drought...

Finally, after about 15 years, we can shut the door on the Curse. After Courtney Lee's Game 2 Miss At The Buzzer brought back all the memories of Nick the Quick's 4 Missed Free Throws (thanks to SportsCenter-you assholes), The Magics finally won a game in the NBA Finals. Eat a dick, Kobe. Eat all the dicks.

Speaking of eating dicks...YOU Jimmy Kimmel! You and Kobe can take turns eating ALL OF THEM! Last night, Jimmy had Magic Johnson on the show...

Kimmel:

"Whoever you're rooting for...can we agree that there's never been a worse name
for a professional sports team than the Magic? Not that the Lakers are
anything to brag about but at least a lake you can drown in, at least
there's some fear there. The Magic, why not just call them the Orlando Balloon Animals?"

Johnson:

"[cackle, cackle, HIV, cackle]"

Umm...Magic Johnson? Why are you laughing? THAT'S YOUR NICKNAME, TOO, YOU IDIOT! Although "Balloon Animal" Johnson may have been a better nickname for him. I'm sure after finding out that he cheated on her (seems to be a running theme with Lakers players, natch!) Magic's wife probably tied his dick in knots.

A better joke would have been:

Kimmel:

"Hey Magic Johnson, did you know that you're talk show sucked balls?"

Audience:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

All I'm saying is that there's worse pro team names out there. And at least the Magic actually has something to do with Orlando. LA stole a team from Minneapolis but kept the name. I guess they were apprehensive about calling themselves the LA CheatOnWivers (haha...now that is some comedy gold! Beat that, Kimmel!).